And the violence
Feeling you are living with a head in a vise-grip
Living at another level of consciousness
Too tired to be able to use the brain
The head feeling dizzy

A hypoglycemia?
The lack of sleep?
Continuous stress pressure?
Not a minute of respite
Eat what you find
What you can

Feeling like you are not living normally
Just trying not to drawn
Trying to help others not to drawn

And then realize
They do want to drown
They ask you to leave them alone
They do not want buoys to be thrown at them
They want to stay
With their smashed brains
You try again
They shout
You try again
They want you to leave them alone
Then you are alone

Escaping alone.
Nobody’s helping.
Cut links with the ones you love
And let them drown as they wish
Feeling helpless.

Helping yourself.
Being rescued.
Trying to leave the past behind.
Building a new future.
Loving people who do want your help.
Feeling low but happy
Feeling surrounded.

Not looking back,
Except when low.
No contact with violence
No contact with the drowning ones.
Looking forward

Looking fulfilled.

Aurianne Or

Aurianne Or by Aurianne Or is licensed under CC BY-NC 4.0